I see you mom…

I’m not sure how to begin this post. I want to preface it by saying that I think being a mom is quite possibly one of the most difficult jobs I have ever had. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom…You are a mom superhero!

This post goes out to all moms, I want you to know I see you, having been at both ends of the spectrum.

First, to my SAHM’s…. I see you:

Skipping your shower to take care of the needs of your kid(s).

Never getting “dressed” for the day and feeling discouraged when your other half comes home and you’re still in what he saw you in when he left for work…and you may or may not have had a chance to brush your teeth.

Trying to get your fussy kid(s) down for a nap.

Scrambling to get house work done while the little monsters finally nap.

Loading that/those same little monster(s) up and braving Target or Wal-Mart. May the force be with you sister!

Facing a meltdown at Target or Wal-Mart.

Doing laundry for everyone, except you. Let’s face it you don’t have much to wash when you wear the same thing a few days in a row more than you would like to admit.

Doing tummy time for the millionth time today.

Watching cartoons that you have absolutely no interest in but, somehow  you end up mesmerized.

Preparing dinner.

Cleaning up after dinner.

Wrangling the kid(s) for your night time routines; bath, books and bed.

Cleaning the house.

Crawling into bed and unwinding with some social media, because it’s your only outlet sometimes.

Feeling a little discouraged because you don’t feel that you’ve accomplished much today. OH, but you did! Your job is so important. You keep your household afloat. You hold down the fort. You are the CEO my friend!

To my working mom’s…. I see you:

Waking up before anyone else to make sure you have time to get ready for work. Or… waking up late and skipping your shower or even make-up.

Waking your sweet kid(s) to feed them and get them dressed for the day.

Realizing you have spit up or even worse poop on you, and you have a meeting today, great!

Making sure you’ve packed your lunch and you kid(s) diaper bag(s) and or backpack(s).

Skipping breakfast because you have NO time!

Dropping your kid(s) off at the sitter/daycare and wishing you were the one to take care of them.

Kissing your kid(s) one last time and checking the clock to be sure you’re not late.

Driving to work most likely in tears, the guilt and shame is unbelievable.

Enjoying your job and then feeling guilty because you do.

(Teacher mom’s: feeling guilty because you spend time investing in others kids the whole day while your little one is with someone else).

Leaving immediately after work knowing you’ll have to work when your kids(s) go to bed tonight.

Picking up your kid(s)

Preparing dinner

Cleaning up after dinner

Wrangling the kid(s) for your night time routines; bath, books and bed.

Watching the baby monitor debating whether or not to go in an scoop them up for some cuddle time.

Working on work (projects, lessons or presentations)

Crawling into bed feeling discouraged because you think you might be doing to wrong thing by working.

So, weather you’re a SAHM or a working-mom….Both jobs are incredibly rough! Not because one stays at home or one has to work outside the home but, because both jobs have the title MOM. Being a mom is tough work!

To all my moms… I see you…

Here is to the NOW!

So, you have straight hair and you want curls or you have curls and you want straight hair. We always want what we don’t have… But, if you got what you wanted would you still REALLY want it?

Prior to going back to school (work) I stayed home for almost four months (shy by one week) with my son Greyson. This time together was a blessing. God timed his birth perfectly. He was born six weeks before school let out last spring and I was able to stay home, then roll right into summer time.

Like I said, the time we had together uninterrupted and without school was such a blessing… However it wasn’t a walk in the park either. I was responsible for him 24/7. There was no substitute, I was número uno.

As the days went on I was loving the time I had with him but, I also did a happy dance when nap time rolled around…. Personal hygiene is important yall! Oh, and let’s not forget about house work…

I recall days that were difficult because the night before was sleepless for my boy and me. I would literally pray for him to take a nap the following day.

As time went on… dare I say it…. I actually missed school from time to time…. Not that being mommy 24/7 was bad, but, let’s be real folks, it’s the HARDEST job on the planet… I also felt like I needed to be working, my job is definitely a calling.

-Insert back to work-

I’m three weeks in to my school year and I love my job! I’m great at what I do and I have a passion for my students and their education… Do I feel guilty for feeling this way or for working? Heavens no! I am where God has placed me and I am there for a reason. For this I am certain of, my classroom is my mission field.

However, I do feel guilty for those days I wished Greyson would just take a nap. I feel guilty that I missed and thought about school. I feel guilty that I worried about a stupid shower, a clean house and laundry. I wish that I would have just let some things go. There were times where I felt like I needed to do something more…. What I should have been doing was soaking up every single moment with him, good or bad with sleep or no sleep.

The good thing for me is that summer time will roll around again and I will get another chance to just enjoy being a mom. I won’t wish for naps (If we’re being honest, now that I’m back at work I despise nap time because if he is sleeping I miss out on even more time with him…), worry about house work or think about school. I will just be a mom to my boy.

So, if you get anything from this post I hope it is to enjoy the moments as they come. Don’t wish for the future or you’ll miss the present.

Here is to the now!

I am okay….Because he is loved.

Well, this week I have returned back to work “for real” meaning I have students in my class from 8:05 – 3:35.  I have so many mixed emotions about returning back to work. I am excited about the students who enter my classroom but,  my heart is also with my son.  Each day without fail a co-worker asks me “How are you doing? Was it hard to leave Greyson?” I respond politely, “I’m good and yes, but, I am okay.”  Some moms might be surprised by that response. Maybe their response would be the complete opposite? But, truth be told, I am okay.

Each day starts around 5:30am or 6:00am. I scoop Greyson out of his crib and he greets me with the absolute sweetest smiles and giggles or….cries of “I’m hungry lady!” Either way I am happy to spend time with him even if it is at the butt-crack of dawn. After our feeding we chit-chat, chew on some toys then he usually chills with Daddy (if he hasn’t left for work yet) or on a play mat while I get ready for work. Once we are good to go I load him up and we head to Nana and G-pa’s house.  Greyson gets to spend about two hours with Nana and G-pa’s and I know my mom and dad  absolutely cherish this time with him. Around 9:00am my mom drops Greyson off at Nana-B’s house (Barb), this our schedule, Monday – Thursday. Then on Fridays my sweet cousin, Sara watches Greyson.  My support system is amazing!

So, why am I okay? I am okay because my child has so many people who love on him throughout the day. He gets love from mommy, daddy, Nana, G-pa, Nana-B and cousin Sara! What a blessing to have so many people who get to spend time and love on my son, daily!

Of course I miss him and think about him throughout my day but, Im trying to see the bigger picture… To me the bigger picture is that whether it’s me, Mikey, Nana, G-pa, Nana-B or Sara taking care of Greyson, he is loved. While they are loving him I am doing something equally important, teaching my students and I am able to do so with peace of mind because… I know who he is with while I am teaching loves him and cares for him just as I do and would if I was there.

So, if you’re asking… I am okay. 🙂

Leave A Legacy….

You are a legacy, did you know that? You are the legacy that your parents left, and their parents, and their parents, and it just goes on and on.  Do you ever wonder how you’re still alive? How you made it though certain situations (alive!)?

-NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF PRAYER

Shortly after I became a mommy, my pops and tutu (grandparents) gave me a book “Praying Circles around Your Children” by: Mark Batterson. This book has opened my eyes even more to the power of prayer and how it can be used as our secret weapon to fight for the future of our children.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant I began praying for Greyson. I prayed for his future, health, salvation even his future spouse.  Those prayers continue and are even more detailed. Instead of just praying for his future spouse I am more specific. I pray that she is a believer, that she would be encouraging, that she would support Greyson, love him and be there for him in all walks of life. It wasn’t until I read this book that I really began to understand further the importance and power of prayer.

When we pray for our children, friends, family and even strangers we have a direct impact on their lives and future weather they know it or not.  We have a unique opportunity to leave a legacy through our prayers.  We have the opportunity to impact others though prayer.

Batterson gave some pretty deep advice that hit my heart and soul to the core; “Pray for each others children. Why parents? Because no one can pray for children like parents. They have similar heartbreaks, similar hopes. They love their children just like you love yours.”  This statement hit me like a ton of bricks.  My prayers I pray for Greyson need to also be the prayers I pray for my friends kids and even kids I don’t know.  Yes, my prayers are just one but, what if you prayed too? Then because of your prayers you influenced others to pray for the generation coming up. Pray without ceasing and you whether those you pray for know it it not they will be the legacy you leave.

-LEAVE A LEGACY FOR GENERATIONS TO COME.

As I reflect on my own life, where I am and what I have overcome (yes in my short 27 years on this planet). I know without a doubt that I am here today because of the people who have prayed for me.  To be more specific, my pops, tutu, mom, dad, family and friends. I am their legacy and I pray that I do not fail them. I pray that I continue their legacy of prayer by circling my family, friends, and even strangers in prayer.

He is my legacy

As soon

I Don’t Know How My Mother Did It!

Motherhood, one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs…ever! Usually when one welcomes their bundle of joy into the world they have a partner to help them through the trials and tribulations of parenthood.

Before I share my story I want to do a bit of front loading.

My mother grew up in Corpus Christi, born and raised.  At 18, she left her home not for college but for boot-camp. She joined the Navy at only 18 years old! I don’t know about you but I’m not that tuff, I wouldn’t have lasted a day.

-YUP MY MOTHER IS AWESOME A BAD ASS!

In the Navy my mother met my father, and shortly after they were married with two kids all before the age of 24. I can’t imagine two kids before the age of 24. At that age I had just been married for a year and was just trying figuring out life…add two kids to the mix…INSANE!

When I was 3, my parents divorced. My dad began tours on Navy submarines and my moms new assignment brought my sister and I to Texas. On her own she moved my sister and I all the way from Virginia to Texas where we started a new life. My dad was present as much as he could be, being out on tours up to six months made visits difficult.

-5 A.M. IS EARLY!

I remember our daily routine. Waking up at 5a.m., getting dressed, being dropped off at day-care, school, back to day-care, and finally picked up by my mom. Sounds like a crazy day and even more crazy knowing that my mom did it all by herself.  She was/is amazing!

-SHE DID IT ALL Y’ALL!

Even though my mom was out numbered she seemed to always be on top of her game. Never did we go without. We always had a Halloween costume, Valentines to pass out to our class, presents under the tree, food on the table, matching easter outfits, and anything else you can think of. She gave selflessly so that my sister and I never did without. Sure, things were rough sometimes but, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Right!

From my moms experience as a single parent I have learned so much that has carried over in to adulthood and now mommy hood. She is one of the strongest people I know.

Okay, so now that you have a little bit of info I can continue on to my point…

Mikey has been out of town for the past three days for work…I in essence have been a single parent for the past three days…All I have to say is, WOW! Props to all my single mommies or daddies out there.  You are all super stars! It hasn’t been easy but at least I know that in a few days my husband will return. I seriously don’t know how my mom did it for six years (she met an amazing man who has been an amazing dad to me and my sister) as a single mommy. I have a new found appreciation for her.

These past few days have been a humbling experience for me and I have learned:

1. How much my mom did for me growing up.
2. How blessed I am to be doing this parenting thing with a partner.
3. Mommies or daddies will always do whatever it takes to make sure their babies are taken care of.

Thank you mom for always providing for me and sissy. You are amazing and I am  so thankful for you.

Proverbs 22:6

Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Milk Doesn’t Love Babies, Mommies do!

I have contemplated over the past several weeks whether I should share this piece or not… Through some self encouragement and and encouragement from a fellow blogger check out her site by clicking here, I have decide to share my journey with breast feeding…Not for pity or whatever but to simply let others know that if they are going though what I went through, it’s going to be OK, as I tell my pre-k students when they have an issue they are trying to work though….

-YES LEARNING TO TIE YOUR SHOES IS AN ISSUE….SO IS LOSING YOUR MARKER CAP!

Before Greyson made his debut in to this world I knew that I was going to breastfeed, it had been something on my heart from day one of finding out my husband and I were expecting. I knew the benefits my milk could offer my baby and my financial situation.

-DONT LIE YOU KNOW YOU WANTED TO BREATS FEED TO SAVE $$$ TOO! IT’S OKAY WE CAN BE HONEST, THIS IS A SAFE PLACE…

So… During delivery my OB looked up at me and said… “Do you want us to clean him first or lay him on you? I vividly remember saying…

-I WANT TO HOLD HIM!

As soon as I delivered my sweet boy, Dr. Vallery placed him on my chest. It is the single most amazing moment in my life, next to marrying my husband, who that moment would have been impossible without.  The feelings I felt are difficult to describe so I won’t even try…

At 10:39am, on April 23, 2015 mine and my husbands lives were forever changed. Greyson Michael Copenhaver had finally arrived!

Immediately after our skin to skin session Greyson began rooting (he wants the milk!) He latched on like a champ with little assistance from me. It seemed so natural just like so many websites and books claim.

-I THINK I GOT THIS BREAST FEEDING THING! I HAVE TO ADMIT, I WAS PRETTY PROUD OF MYSELF!

Pride goes before destruction….

As the night went on I began to feel pain when I nursed so much that I consulted with three different lactation consultants during my two day stay in the hospital.  My sweet boy had literally turned my nipples to hamburger meat (sorry for the intense visual)! It was incredibly painful to nurse. I had tears in my eyes every time. For goodness sakes I was even bleeding! After my first night one of the nurses brought me a nipple shield. It was uncomfortable and made feeding Greyson  even more difficult but, it worked. I was sent home with well wishes and two shields a few days later.

Fast forward a few weeks…. Greyson had his two week check up. The doctor was a little disturbed that he had lost over a pound. He suggested that I visit with a lactation consultant to see if there was something going on with my transfer. Keep in mind it’s normal for babies to lose weight after birth but the percentile of loss Greyson was in alarmed my pediatrician. Fast forward three consultations later…. Greyson and I were still having issues. I blamed everything, myself, the nurses even that stupid shield… Which btw did cause some pretty painful damage. My sons suction was so hard that my nipples literally went through the holes in the shield popping blood vessels and therefore creating button like look (four holes where if you connected them would make a square) on my nipples, I’ll spare you the picture.

-YEP I TOOK ONE!

On top of the barrier (shield) I seemed to not be producing a whole lot of milk…

-YES, IT’S POSSIBLE!

I tried everything from fenugreek to lecithin. Nothing seemed to work and Greyson never seemed satisfied.

-NO HE WASN’T CLUSTER FEEDING.

Still determined to give my baby the “best” I decided to pump after feeding sessions, every feeding session. I would feed, pump, sleep (ha), feed, pump, sleep, feed, pump and sleep. This cycle went on for two months until my friend Missy finally had an intervention with me. I was sleep deprived, exhausted physically and emotionally and even worse I was becoming frustrated with my son (never good and hard to admit). She literally told me to “slap some cabbage on (dries your supply, what little I had) and go by formula, Greyson will be okay!” Her experience with breast feeding was very similar to mine almost parallel. So I knew she understood my feelings and the mommy guilt I had over making the switch to formula.

-NO I DID NOT QUIT, I DID WHAT WAS BEST FOR ME AND MY BABY.

Greyson did not deserve the mother I had become. I needed to give him my very best (that doesn’t necessarily mean my milk) and formula allowed me to do that. It’s like something one of my friends Shanna said to me (btw she is an awesome photographer! click here to check her out!) “Milk doesn’t love babies, mommies do!”

So, though my breastfeeding journey was cut short I am thankful that I could do any of it at all. So again, I leave you with this quote….

“Milk doesn’t love babies, mommies do”

To all my mommies out there, please do not let breast feeding define you as a mother because it doesn’t! Everyones journey is different, feeding our babies looks different but, the one thing all mommies have in common is that we love our babies unconditionally!