Yay! You’ve just given birth to you first bundle of joy! Congrats and welcome to the club…But wait, physically pushing that baby out or enduring a painful c-section isn’t your complete pass into the society that is mommy-hood, oh no, you will experience several initiation activities before you’re truly a part of the club…
Below are some of the ways that you might find yourself being hazed I mean initiated into mommy-hood:
- Boogers, EW, especially when they aren’t your own that you find, dried and crusted in your lovely locks. Thanks kid!
- Poo & pee, you’re really not a mom until you’ve been projectile poo-ed or peed on. Hope you have your Tide Pen or perhaps a new shirt? Maybe you should just go home and change dear.
- Toys, they are EVERYWHERE, and they are always moving around… That bouncer, your shin probably found it last night at 2am on your way to make that bottle. OUCH, that’s going to leave a mark.
- Sleep, what’s that? You must perform all life and baby duties with little to no sleep, forever, until you die… You will never sleep again.
- Hair pulling, a hair-tie is now your best friend. Thick wavy locks? Sorry friend! Unless you tie your baby’s hands or force them to wear socks on their hands you best invest in hair-ties, pronto!
- Projectile vomit, see #2… You should probably start traveling with extra clothes, for you and baby
- Cartoons/Kids Netflix, say goodbye to all of your T.V. series, unless it’s after bedtime…and if your kids sleeping you should probably sleep too! Wait, no, you’re never to sleep again. Scratch #7… You can binge watch, Black List and Law and Order after the kids are down.
- Social life, what’s that? Unless you’ve got family close by or someone you trust to watch your children, all social activity can only take place on Facebook or Instagram, #awesome.
- Shopping, you will do more shopping than ever before except, nothing will be for you, whomp, whomp…
I’m sure this is not a complete list of the initiation process that is mommy-hood as I am a “newbie.” So having said that you more seasoned mommies please share a part of your initiation process into mommy-hood! I would love to know what is in store for me.