This week has been THAT week. You know the kind where nothing seems right. Everything is in disarray and chaos. Not the organized chaos that you’re used to, you know the kind where the outside eye looking in has no clue what’s going on but to you it’s a beautifully orchestrated symphony and the rhythm is in your time…
This week was
poop shit. There I said it, it was like Alexanders day… Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day…Only it wasn’t just a day, no, it was an entire week.
Leaving my son each morning this week proved to be more difficult than in weeks past. I spent most of my commutes in tears. I cried out to God, why, why is this so hard? Will these feelings ever cease? Work presented new challenges and new demands (as if teachers don’t already have a full plate) lets just add more, shall we? Just for fun to see if they snap. It was so bad that I actually applied for new job. Yes! A new job not in education. I was quickly brought back to reality, thanks to my sweet teacher friend who reminded me that I have the best job next to being a mommy. On top of leaving Greyson each morning and work pushing me to my limits I had my first curriculum assessment of the year. If there is one thing you should know about teachers it is that we take our test scores personally. They are a reflection of us and our teaching…. I have very high expectations for myself and of my students and we did not exactly meet them this go around. My house is a mess, I have no clean clothes and I may or may not have showered every day this week….. So, you get it. It has been a rough week for me. Poor me, right? Wrong…
On one of my tear filled commutes this week I was listening to “I Will Praise You In This Storm” by the Casting Crowns… When the chorus chimed in I immediately broke.
And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I was quickly grounded back to reality and my senses. This week has been hard, this week has been my storm but regardless of where I am HE is with me and will see me through. I as I meditated on the words in the song I began to feel
guilty convicted (there is a difference). Yes, my week has been rough but, there are so many others that are challenges bigger than mine. Instead of having pity on myself I began to count my blessings and boy did my perspective change…
- Leaving my son for work is hard but I am BLESSED to have a child.
- Work is demanding but I am BLESSED to have a job.
- My clothes are dirty but I am BLESSED to have something to wear… Even if my jeans can stand up on their own after I take them off….
- My house is a disaster zone but I am BLESSED to have a roof over my head.
So, though my week to me has been trying I will chose to praise HIM through my storm. My prayer for you is that wherever you find yourself this week or next that you remember you’re never alone. He is with you through it all. He is making you stronger though the storm and while you’re walking in the rain you might as well count your blessings.