So, you have straight hair and you want curls or you have curls and you want straight hair. We always want what we don’t have… But, if you got what you wanted would you still REALLY want it?
Prior to going back to school (work) I stayed home for almost four months (shy by one week) with my son Greyson. This time together was a blessing. God timed his birth perfectly. He was born six weeks before school let out last spring and I was able to stay home, then roll right into summer time.
Like I said, the time we had together uninterrupted and without school was such a blessing… However it wasn’t a walk in the park either. I was responsible for him 24/7. There was no substitute, I was número uno.
As the days went on I was loving the time I had with him but, I also did a happy dance when nap time rolled around…. Personal hygiene is important yall! Oh, and let’s not forget about house work…
I recall days that were difficult because the night before was sleepless for my boy and me. I would literally pray for him to take a nap the following day.
As time went on… dare I say it…. I actually missed school from time to time…. Not that being mommy 24/7 was bad, but, let’s be real folks, it’s the HARDEST job on the planet… I also felt like I needed to be working, my job is definitely a calling.
-Insert back to work-
I’m three weeks in to my school year and I love my job! I’m great at what I do and I have a passion for my students and their education… Do I feel guilty for feeling this way or for working? Heavens no! I am where God has placed me and I am there for a reason. For this I am certain of, my classroom is my mission field.
However, I do feel guilty for those days I wished Greyson would just take a nap. I feel guilty that I missed and thought about school. I feel guilty that I worried about a stupid shower, a clean house and laundry. I wish that I would have just let some things go. There were times where I felt like I needed to do something more…. What I should have been doing was soaking up every single moment with him, good or bad with sleep or no sleep.
The good thing for me is that summer time will roll around again and I will get another chance to just enjoy being a mom. I won’t wish for naps (If we’re being honest, now that I’m back at work I despise nap time because if he is sleeping I miss out on even more time with him…), worry about house work or think about school. I will just be a mom to my boy.
So, if you get anything from this post I hope it is to enjoy the moments as they come. Don’t wish for the future or you’ll miss the present.
Here is to the now!